Wednesday, January 10, 2007

 

Scenes from In-Person Registration

“You're wearing a suit, so I figure I can ask you a question.”


“I'm a math major.”

I look at his transcript.

“You got a D in pre-calc.”

“Yeah, but I'm good at math. I just do badly on the tests.”

“Calc has tests, too.”

(pause)

“Oh.”


“I'm going to change the world.”

“Okay.”

“So can I get into (closed class)?”


“What's your major?”

“First it was chemistry, then criminal justice, then I switched to childhood education, then psychology.”

“What do you want to do?”

“Blow less than the 40 thousand I blew at (other school).”


“I want to get into Comp II.”

“Did you take Comp 1?”

“Yeah, at my last college.”
“Do you have a transcript?”

“Huh?”

“Like a report card.”

“Oh. Don't you have it?”

We check online and print out an unofficial transcript.

“I don't see an English course.”

“Uh, it's that one.” (points)

“That says History.”

“Yeah, but I wrote a lot of papers.”


“It looks like you need to take Comp 1.”

“I took that last semester!”

“Yes, but you failed it.”
“But I took it!”


“I want a full-time schedule. Can we add some more?”

“Maybe. Do you have a job?”

“Yeah.”
“How many hours?”

“Full time, Monday to Friday.”

“Oh. Any other obligations?”

“I have two kids.”

“I'm thinking maybe we start you off part-time so you can get some momentum going. I'd rather you pass two classes than fail four.”
“Really?”

And, not to be outdone, three from my department chairs:

“We found the tuba!”

“The kiln exploded.”

“I lost an adjunct, but I got a replacement.”

“Good.”
“I called her on her cell. She took the call as she was being wheeled into surgery.”

(pause)

“She'll be here Tuesday.”

Steady...steady...


Comments:
Hahaha. I just hope the tuba wasn't found in the exploding kiln!
 
LOL! I have tried to dress more professionally while teaching this year, but I should remember to tone it down in the first week so that I don't attract this kind of attention.
 
Any story with the word 'tuba' in it is going to be funny.

Great collection. I have to start writing these things down...
 
You must be making up at least one or two of those. No??
 
Been there, done and heard most of that Inot the tuba in the exploding kiln, though...)
 
Unfortunately, I just lot a bit of respect for you.
 
I wonder, does the kiln have anything to do with the missing adjunct???
 
I fear for our future....
 
We live in fear of our kiln exploding, so I feel for you. I'll add one:

"I took Soc 14 last semester and passed it."
"We don't have a course called Soc 14."
"Well, you must, because I took it and passed it."
 
They're all true. I laughed out loud at the tuba one. How do you lose a tuba?
 
Of course they are all true. I was LOL from the first sentence, and dying by the time I got to the wannabee math major.

I've got to remember to take notes next time at registration, or even during in-office advising.
 
Tuba. The other stuff was funny in a sad-but-true way, but the Tuba!
 
Stop. You're killing me.
 
I'd like to add a couple of my favorites.

"I want to major in Cosmology, so I can learn to cut hair."

"I want to take Astrology."
"Do you mean Astronomy?"
"Okay."

Sure, you laugh when you hear it, until you realize they are the future leaders of the world, and then you find a corner in which to weep silently.
 
Astro faculty member walking down the hallway: "We found one of the celestial spheres!"
 
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