Friday, September 26, 2008
Raising Future Writers
The Wife: TG, tell Daddy what you said at school today.
The Girl (earnestly): Daddy, 'tushie' is more appwopwiate than “heinie.”
So now we know.
The Boy: During recess, Dylan got hit in the you-know-whats.
TB: You know, the nuts.
Got it, thanks.
There's something humbling, and a little frightening, about seeing your own quirks reflected back to you in your kids. They're already impressively precise in their language, and attuned to how they're heard. This means I get away with nothing. It also means I know they're in for a bumpy ride in adolescence. But I'll admit to some parental pride in hearing my four-year-old tell me what's appwopwiate.
(TB has, of course, his own issues given his own testicular vulnerabilities.)
PERSON A: So, how was your weekend?
PERSON B: Well, I had sex with a wallaby, so it was good.
CUT TO: British hair metal guy (BHMG) with a big electric guitar.
BHMG jams a power chord.
(Repeat with several more vignettes of inappropriate behavior, separated by the BHMG and his catchphrase.)
See, now, that's funny.