Friday, September 26, 2008


Raising Future Writers

I think the kids picked up the 'obsessed with language' gene. Two vignettes from last night's dinner:

The Wife: TG, tell Daddy what you said at school today.

The Girl (earnestly): Daddy, 'tushie' is more appwopwiate than “heinie.”

So now we know.


The Boy: During recess, Dylan got hit in the you-know-whats.


TB: You know, the nuts.

Got it, thanks.

There's something humbling, and a little frightening, about seeing your own quirks reflected back to you in your kids. They're already impressively precise in their language, and attuned to how they're heard. This means I get away with nothing. It also means I know they're in for a bumpy ride in adolescence. But I'll admit to some parental pride in hearing my four-year-old tell me what's appwopwiate.

TG sounds like a dear. And what a good ear she has! Tushie is certainly superior to the vulgar heinie.

(TB has, of course, his own issues given his own testicular vulnerabilities.)
This reminds me of one of your favorite Conan O'Brien sketches. You know, the one The Wife doesn't think is funny.

PERSON A: So, how was your weekend?
PERSON B: Well, I had sex with a wallaby, so it was good.

CUT TO: British hair metal guy (BHMG) with a big electric guitar.

BHMG jams a power chord.


(Repeat with several more vignettes of inappropriate behavior, separated by the BHMG and his catchphrase.)

See, now, that's funny.
The internet once again provides. Here is the sketch.

Must be a guy thing. :-)
While the transition from adolescence to adulthood can be difficult, young men need to know is that this time of change should not be evaded. The keys to teaching this to your son lie in parental influence and preparation. Get involved in his life and talk to him about girls, friends, drugs, and alcohol while helping him deal with problems in mature ways.
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