Wednesday, September 02, 2009

 

If Stephen Colbert Did the Annual Kickoff Meeting...

(in the style of "The Word")

Faculty and distinguished colleagues,

(Slide: "And the undistinguished among you, too...")

welcome back from what I hope was a restful summer.

("You're gonna need it...")

As you know, we have record enrollments this year, combined with a severe funding cut.

("Rhymes with flusterduck...")

But I'm sure we're up to the challenge.

("New program: Alchemy!")

This year brings some new challenges, like the swine flu

("No more parking shortage!")

and a difficult job market for our graduates.

("Great for retention!")

But some things never change.

("Gotta love the tenure system.")

All those new faces, shining with hope and promise

("and buried in their smartphones")

and the promise of new communities of learning.

("and papers to grade!")

Working together,

("except for the grading")

I'm sure we'll have a terrific year.

("except for the grading")

And that's the word.

Comments:
Awesome.

So did you have the guts to put that in the ppt that is running on the screen behind you as you welcome back the faculty?
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
Create a youtube!
 
Seriously dude, that rocks... But you need to pick the word. What was the word?

Oh, and you might have to have the faculty sneak in to replace the tenure slide with a "gotta love administration"... he he.
 
*chortle*
 
Brilliant!
 
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