Friday, July 16, 2010


What Runs Through My Mind During a Software Demo

- Good God, I'm bored.

- Maybe if I shift in my seat...

- Nope. Still bored.

- Ooh! A dropbox! However might it work?

- Ayup, it drops. Color me impressed.

- Why is the presenter staring at me? Am I rolling my eyes?

- Try to look interested. Try to look interested.

- Good God, I'm bored.

- I bet celebrities don't have to watch dropbox demos.

- I bet Lindsay Lohan doesn't have to watch dropbox demos.

- I bet they don't even do dropbox demos in prison.

- They should.

- Naw, that's cruel and unusual.

- What's she in for, anyway? Doesn't crime at least require actually doing something?

- Maybe I should have turned to a life of crime.

- Cool crime, though, not lame crime.

- To “save,” hit “save.” Got it.

- I wonder if those Witness Relocation people get to pick where they go.

- I'd request San Francisco, maybe. Or Seattle.

- And a cooler name, like “Brock Codpiece.”

- Naw, then the kids would be little Codpieces. That wouldn't be right.

- I wonder what the kids are doing right now?

- They're probably swimming. That sounds fun.

- I hope TG actually goes in the water this time.

- She takes after me, poor kid.

- Hey, it can add up numbers! Nice use of server space in 2010!

- I wonder if I should get a Droid.

- Nah, too big. Besides, what would I use it for?

- Other than games during software demos, anyway.

- At least I could hold it left-handed.

- I don't know why they say only lefties are inconvenienced by the iphone. I sometimes hold phones in my left hand, too.

- Does that mean I go both ways?

- Just like Lindsay Lohan! But she doesn't
have to sit through a software demo.

- Look at all of us in here. I wonder what the hourly wage of everyone in this room adds up to.

- Your tax dollars at work. Look, you can refresh the page!

- He's looking at me again! Look like you care, look like you care...

- I wonder if the tech guys think we're losers, running the demo on an xp machine.

- Yes, I know how to type in a box. You can stop demonstrating now.

- Anyone who misbehaves spends the night in the box.

- Whatever happened to Broderick Crawford, anyway?

- “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” God, that's true.

- Didn't Broderick Crawford do some sort of California cop movie or something?

- California. I'll miss it when it falls in the ocean.

- Poor bastards.

- Of course, in the ocean, you don't have to sit through software demos.

- I'd like to be under the sea, in an Octopus' garden...

- TG used to love that song. What is it about girls and Ringo?

- Zooey Deschanel liked Ringo in that movie.

- How the hell did the dweeb from Third Rock get Zooey Deschanel?

- Third Rock was a good show. Surprisingly accurate about college faculty.

- “Alpha order.” Nice. Just say “alphabetical.” Nobody's impressed.

- Click “save.” Okay. Learned that one in '86, thanks.

- They should 86 this presentation.

- What does that even mean, anyway?

- Brock Codpiece would know. He'd google it on his Droid, on his way to bust Lindsay Lohan out of prison. Then Broderick Crawford would catch him, and he'd spend the night in the box.

- Sigh.

- I wonder if I'll have time for lunch...

- Click “close.”

Someone's students probsbly think the same way during lecture...
Re: “Third Rock was [… s]urprisingly accurate about college faculty,” perhaps it was because John Lithgow’s wife is a historian at UCLA (when I was a student, I used to see him in his “Third Rock” jacket walking the dogs on campus).
100% agree with you about Third Rock.
Frankly, I thought Third Rock was too realistic. A much larger percentage of my faculty are space aliens--I'm sure of it.
The funiest thing I've seen about demonstrations, ever.
And yet, my students DEMAND these pointless demonstrations for the software we use in class. They feel like they're actually learning something when I do them instead of the much more difficult to create cooperative learning exercises on the damn software.

They're wrong though... they never remember anything I demonstrate and they always remember it when they've suffered through a class exercise on it.

I think really they just don't like to actually have to think in class. They probably also prefer thinking about Lindsay Lohan to doing actual work. Well, that and they also have to be able to read instructions for the in class exercises and I think I'm getting the tail end of the whole language movement.

Personally, I blame the American Education System. Why your college kid can't read and demands pointless software demonstrations in class.

(Were you texting this in real time during the demo?)

BTW, the magic questions are (1) could you run that on Firefox at the max security level on that XP box? and (2) could you also show us how it runs on Safari on a Mac or, perhaps, on an iPhone?

The last question is not a totally random one. I have seen a small group of students after class using an iPhone to see if they now know how to work a problem on the CMS I use.

PS - Third Rock was on the mark, but so is Big Bang Theory if you are a physicist. For some reason, my wife thinks it is even funnier than I do.
Whoa, that was from a class?!? The students realize how much they pay in tuition, right? And that real life is nothing like this demonstration, right?
Bummer meeting dude. We are all Walter Mitty now.
hilarious! you've given me proof that my boss is *not* the only one w/ random thoughts of songs and/or t.v. shows during meetings!
I demonstrate and they always remember it when they've suffered through a class exercise on it.
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