Dear Hollywood,
Having recently struggled in vain to find something recent and watchable, I have some notes for you.
Please, for the love of God, no more productions about, or featuring, the following:
- medieval or renaissance anything
- hobbits, hobbitry, or anything that smells of hobbitry
- vampires and/or zombies
- “reboots”
- titles with roman numerals in them (except for Henry V or Richard III)
- dystopian futures, especially anything “post-apocalyptic”
- Michael Bay, or anything with slow-motion explosions
- 3-D
- superheroes
- Magic Pixie Dream Girls (Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel, Kirsten Dunst)
- black people as mystical guardian angels for white people
- bromances
- Tim Burton/Johnny Depp movies about misunderstood loners
- Mel Gibson in any way, shape, or form
- “reality” shows
- six impossibly attractive young people in New York City looking for love
- cop shows
- hospital shows
- lawyer shows
- Jim Belushi
Aha! I hear you saying. What does that leave? A few suggestions, not intended to be comprehensive:
- slapstick. Unapologetic silliness. (“Anchorman” was a nice example.)
- shows in which average-looking middle-aged people deal with life using wit and wisdom. (See “The Bob Newhart Show” for an example.)
- shows set in suburbs. Or in small cities that are not New York, L.A. Miami, Chicago, or Atlanta.
- comedies in which finding a boyfriend/girlfriend is not the point
- optimistic futures
Thanks.
Sincerely,
Dean Dad
