Sunday, June 10, 2012


Dear Hollywood,

Dear Hollywood,

Having recently struggled in vain to find something recent and watchable, I have some notes for you.

Please, for the love of God, no more productions about, or featuring, the following:

- medieval or renaissance anything

- hobbits, hobbitry, or anything that smells of hobbitry

- vampires and/or zombies

- “reboots”

- titles with roman numerals in them (except for Henry V or Richard III)

- dystopian futures, especially anything “post-apocalyptic”

- Michael Bay, or anything with slow-motion explosions

- 3-D

- superheroes

- Magic Pixie Dream Girls (Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel, Kirsten Dunst)

- black people as mystical guardian angels for white people

- bromances

- Tim Burton/Johnny Depp movies about misunderstood loners

- Mel Gibson in any way, shape, or form

- “reality” shows

- six impossibly attractive young people in New York City looking for love

- cop shows

- hospital shows

- lawyer shows

- Jim Belushi

Aha!  I hear you saying.  What does that leave?  A few suggestions, not intended to be comprehensive:

- slapstick.  Unapologetic silliness.  (“Anchorman” was a nice example.)

- shows in which average-looking middle-aged people deal with life using wit and wisdom.  (See “The Bob Newhart Show” for an example.)

- shows set in suburbs.  Or in small cities that are not New York, L.A. Miami, Chicago, or Atlanta.

- comedies in which finding a boyfriend/girlfriend is not the point

- optimistic futures



Dean Dad

Just out of curiosity, do you watch Community? Seems like it would be right up your alley.

You realize that you've just described "Home Improvement."
Try Little Mosque on the Prairie.
There's plenty of good stuff out there.
It's manic not magic.
I can see the movie set of "The Hobbit" from my work place so you're out of luck with hobbitry.

[ And my daughter is reading it in her year 6 (~Grade 5) English class just for kid-comparison. ]
So I gather you weren't watching the new series of "Ice Road Truckers" or "Glades" tonight? But why not Madagascar (which beat out Prometheus)? Or "Rock of Ages", given your age demographic?

My wife and I find "Big Bang Theory" to be ROTFLMAO funny, but it helps to be a scientist (not to mention a physicist) or married to one. Sadly, it conflicts with Community, even if it is half lame and unbelievable.

I also recommend "30 Rock". Not quite slapstick, but the throwaway snark punch lines keep you on your toes the whole time and both come late in the week when you need some fun.

Just a heads up: We learned about the Hunger Games book from my dad (hint, I am older than you). It is the first in a solid trilogy, so you might want to read it if you don't want to watch it.

Although the Depression era also included a lot of perky stuff (like the Andy Hardy movies on TCM today) along with the noir, post apocalyptic has its draw in bad times like these. I'm surprised no one is making a movie from Player Piano, with its theme of automation-driven unemployment. Update it to feature lawyers rebelling about being replaced by law-bots and it might even make money.
I also vote for Big Bang Theory for so many reasons. But seriously DD - you've just banned Joss Whedon from TV and movies. I thought he did a great job with the latest Avengers movie. Surely there are those you would trust with vampires and superheros. Tim Kring? Ronald d. Moore?
My husband and I recently became addicted to "Arrested Development," which is quite silly and fun. We also liked the mini-series "Summer Heights High" and any and all Christopher Guest movies, when we're looking for laughs.
This is precisely the reason why I watch foreign films & tv shows. Apparently the daily life of regular people are more interesting in foreign countries. In America it's only the rich & plastic that are of interest. And Big Bang Theory is still too focussed on nerdy guy likes out of reach girl.
If your level of humor is Anchorman, you should find plenty to watch on TV. Will Ferrell is stupid, not funny, and there's plenty of that level of crap in TV and movies.
Have you tried Breaking Bad?
What is it about vampires that's become so popular? The latest trailer I've seen is about young Abe Lincoln as a vampire. WTF?
Dear Dean Dad,

I like my cop and courtroom shows, so please don't discourage Hollywood from producing them. You don't have to watch them :)
Modern Family
The MIddle
Last man Standing
The Office
Parks and Recreation
The Simpsons
Family Guy
American Dad
The Cleveland Show
Raising Hope

All those shows would meet most if not all what you are looking for.
Bah. You aren't eagerly anticipating "The Hobbit"? You didn't love "The Avengers"?

You poor sad creature, you.
Thank goodness for PBS, and getting Canadian TV channels.

(PS: Your new capta system is really annoying)
Just don't let them take Community away.

And here's a second on the Captcha's annoyance factor. These unreadable things seem to surfacing on quite a few blogsites.
I believe the young Abe Lincoln is killing vampires, he isn't one himself.

Second the motion on Breaking Bad, but it ain't for the kiddies.

Our newest indulgence is old episodes of The Simpsons on DVD with the commentary turned on. Excellent.
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