Sunday, June 10, 2012

Dear Hollywood,

Dear Hollywood,

Having recently struggled in vain to find something recent and watchable, I have some notes for you.

Please, for the love of God, no more productions about, or featuring, the following:

- medieval or renaissance anything

- hobbits, hobbitry, or anything that smells of hobbitry

- vampires and/or zombies

- “reboots”

- titles with roman numerals in them (except for Henry V or Richard III)

- dystopian futures, especially anything “post-apocalyptic”

- Michael Bay, or anything with slow-motion explosions

- 3-D

- superheroes

- Magic Pixie Dream Girls (Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel, Kirsten Dunst)

- black people as mystical guardian angels for white people

- bromances

- Tim Burton/Johnny Depp movies about misunderstood loners

- Mel Gibson in any way, shape, or form

- “reality” shows

- six impossibly attractive young people in New York City looking for love

- cop shows

- hospital shows

- lawyer shows

- Jim Belushi

Aha!  I hear you saying.  What does that leave?  A few suggestions, not intended to be comprehensive:

- slapstick.  Unapologetic silliness.  (“Anchorman” was a nice example.)

- shows in which average-looking middle-aged people deal with life using wit and wisdom.  (See “The Bob Newhart Show” for an example.)

- shows set in suburbs.  Or in small cities that are not New York, L.A. Miami, Chicago, or Atlanta.

- comedies in which finding a boyfriend/girlfriend is not the point

- optimistic futures



Dean Dad