Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Scary Monsters and Super Creeps

The Girl dressed as a Tootsie Roll, and The Boy as a Jawa from Star Wars.  

They were endearing, but not scary.  I had front door duty.

Fears change, with age.  If I were to dress up as something really scary, I might go as:

- The Program That Wouldn’t Die.  I’d be a zombie with low enrollments, high fixed costs, a powerful ally, and a political minefield.  “Funds!  Eat Funds!”

- MOOCman.  90 percent of my costume would be missing by the end of the night, since that’s their attrition rate.  

- Hatchet Harry, the Human Budget Cut.  Picture a really angry accountant wearing a tricorner hat, like the Tea Partiers.  Or maybe Santa Claus with a suit on backwards, to symbolize a midyear budget cut.

- The Politician with a Brilliant Idea.  I’d have a lightbulb suspended over a dunce cap.

- An Extended Power Outage.  Dress all in black.  It’s a New York reference twice.

- A standardized test.  I could wrap myself in bubble wrap, popping one out of every four bubbles randomly.

- A glob of cholesterol.  It might put a damper on the whole ‘candy’ thing, though.

- A home contractor.  I’d show up, then leave unexplained for weeks, then show up again, then vanish again, leaving an awful mess in my wake.  

- An “Explanation of Benefits” from an HMO.  I’d wear a twisted glob of spaghetti that doesn’t smell quite right.

- Comcast!  I could dress, and walk, like Mr. Magoo.

- My hairline.  But I wouldn’t want to get arrested for indecent exposure.

Wise and worldly readers, what costume would you find truly scary?