Wednesday, June 06, 2018

The Last Performance Evaluation for a New Retiree

I face a variation on this one every few years, including this year.  A longtime employee is retiring, but I still have to do a formal evaluation to close out the file.

I understand the concept of checking boxes, and even of keeping records, but it’s hard not to notice something contrived about a final evaluation for someone about to move to the next phase of life.

Employee evaluations often end with goals for the employee for the coming year.  I’ve been struggling with this one. Wise and worldly readers, which would you pick?

  1. Go someplace warm and enjoy a decadent drink, one with an umbrella in it.
  2. Write down something that frustrated you here, then shred the piece of paper and dance a jig.
  3. Finally complete the rock opera we all know you have in you.
  4. One word: plastics.