Thursday, December 08, 2005
- How does Carrot Top have a career?
- Why are no two ties the same length? Couldn’t tiemakers agree on a few standard lengths?
- Why can’t I buy tv channels a la carte? Why do I have to subsidize Fox News in order to watch Jon Stewart?
- How can The Boy repeat “I’m hungry!”156 times before dinner, then not eat?
- Why don’t baby wipes have a red-stripe ‘warning wipe’ before they run out? The packages are *(*)#$&% hard to open, and I’d rather not wield sharp instruments with The Girl on the changing table.
- Rita Cosby – how is this woman on television? That voice is a joke, right?
- If our teeth are as high-maintenance as dentists would have us believe, how did humanity make it this far?
- Hybrid SUV’s. They’re sort of like reduced-fat Twinkies, or lite Spam.
- Tattoos over the butt. Sorry, I just don’t get it. Yes, I’m over 35. You will be, too.
- Leg cramps at 3:00 a.m. God gives a wedgie, just for sport.
- Senator Joe Lieberman. Why? Why? Does anybody think this man is a good idea?
- Tony Danza. I’m completely mystified.
- The Wiggles. If you have young children, you know what I mean.
- Students? Who end every phrase? With a question mark?
- What is it about geese and college campuses?
- Is Maureen Dowd necessary?
- Essay question: Kristin Hersh and Lindsay Lohan put out cd’s recently. Given the existence of a just and benevolent God, explain their relative sales.