Thursday, December 08, 2005

 

Fugitive Thoughts

Late semester event-driven exhaustion renders me incapable of completing a thought. So, a few thoughtlets that have been rattling around for a while, unresolved:

- How does Carrot Top have a career?

- Why are no two ties the same length? Couldn’t tiemakers agree on a few standard lengths?

- Why can’t I buy tv channels a la carte? Why do I have to subsidize Fox News in order to watch Jon Stewart?

- How can The Boy repeat “I’m hungry!”156 times before dinner, then not eat?

- Why don’t baby wipes have a red-stripe ‘warning wipe’ before they run out? The packages are *(*)#$&% hard to open, and I’d rather not wield sharp instruments with The Girl on the changing table.

- Rita Cosby – how is this woman on television? That voice is a joke, right?

- If our teeth are as high-maintenance as dentists would have us believe, how did humanity make it this far?

- Hybrid SUV’s. They’re sort of like reduced-fat Twinkies, or lite Spam.

- Tattoos over the butt. Sorry, I just don’t get it. Yes, I’m over 35. You will be, too.

- Leg cramps at 3:00 a.m. God gives a wedgie, just for sport.

- Senator Joe Lieberman. Why? Why? Does anybody think this man is a good idea?

- Tony Danza. I’m completely mystified.

- The Wiggles. If you have young children, you know what I mean.

- Students? Who end every phrase? With a question mark?

- What is it about geese and college campuses?

- Is Maureen Dowd necessary?

- Essay question: Kristin Hersh and Lindsay Lohan put out cd’s recently. Given the existence of a just and benevolent God, explain their relative sales.

Coffee...need coffee...



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