Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Elephants (A Play in One Scene)
Dean: Thanks for coming, Ben.
Prof: Glad to, Dean. What’s on your mind?
Dean: Well, Ben, it’s the elephant. The smell is overpowering, and
Prof: Why wasn’t I told of this before?
Prof: Why wasn’t I told of this before? I thought everything was fine! I have memos from you thanking me for showing up for (last official function)!
Dean: Yes, and I’m glad you showed up. But about the elephant...
Prof: What elephant?
Dean: The one in the room.
Prof: This is really about my (race/sex/age/sexual orientation/disability/religion), isn’t it?
Dean: Well, no, it’s really about the elephant.
Prof: You hesitated, didn’t you? Now I’ve got you. I’m going to file a complaint with HR.
Dean: To get to HR, you’ll have to step around the elephant.
Prof: You can rationalize it any way you want. This isn’t right.
Dean: The elephant isn’t right.
Prof: You’re too inexperienced for this job. It’s true what they say about you, you know.
Dean: This isn’t about me. This is about the elephant.
Prof: We’ve been working this way for twenty years, and nobody ever complained. Now you come in, sitting pretty, passing judgment without the facts.
Dean: Ben, the fact is, I’m knee-deep in elephant shit. There’s nothing pretty about it.
Prof: This isn’t right. You don’t know the history.
Dean: Well, the recent history involves a large elephant...
Prof: Twenty years! Does that mean anything to you?
Dean: Not nearly as much as the flies...
Prof: This is evil. You’re committing an evil deed. There’s evil in this world, you know. Bad consequences come to evildoers.
Dean: We disagree on that. Now, about the elephant...
Prof: What does (the VP) think about this?
Dean: He keeps asking me about the elephant. Also about my shoes.
Prof: The Administration doesn’t care. You people don’t know what it’s like.
Prof: When I started here, back in...
One half Samuel Becket, one half Noel Coward.
Is it too early in the day for champagne to wash it all down?
Sorry, I couldn't resist. (You shouldn't be so funny if you don't want me to alliterate :) )
Didn't I hear this blog mentioned in the Academy Awards announcement thins morning for best short?
You mean like Ken Lay?
I don't know what company you work for, but my advice is, "Don't quit". Because not all of them are like that. Or everyone would have corner offices.
This blog reinforces that decision. Now I just want to do my mid-level job, be good at it, and not draw too much attention to myself in the process.
(Of course, if I were really writing I wouldn't have found it. Would I? Trouble either way.)