Wednesday, May 10, 2006

 

Dean Libs

I thought it might be fun to apply Mad Libs rules to decanal memos. Example:

Please hand in your annual report to your chair no later than May 23. The department chairs will then provide summary reports to the deans no later than June 5.

Becomes...

Please hand in your (noun) to your (noun) no later than (date). The (adjective) chairs will then provide (adjective) (plural noun) to the (plural noun) no later than June 5.

It’s easy and fun! Let’s try a harder one:

I am in receipt of a formal (noun) by a student named (month) (city). She alleges, among other things, that in your class of February 10, you caused her great (emotion) by (gerund) her out in retaliation for her earlier comment that the class (verb). Several other (plural noun) confirm her story, including a suggestion that you had (past pluperfect) too much that morning.

I am formally requesting a (noun) with you and your (adjective) rep to (verb) this matter. Please (verb) your availability with my (adjective) assistant no later than Friday.

Fame and glory to the best entries...

Comments:
"I am in receipt of a formal robot by a student named September Des Moines. She alleges, among other things, that in your class of February 10, you caused her great happiness by combing her out in retaliation for her earlier comment that the class pukes. Several other aardvarks confirm her story, including a suggestion that you had farted too much that morning.

"I am formally requesting a washing machine with you and your smelly rep to burn this matter. Please burp your availability with my monkeyfaced assistant no later than Friday."

Now to watch cartoons!
 
I am in receipt of a formal pineapple by a student named February Kalamazoo. She alleges, among other things, that in your class of February 10, you caused her great ecstacy by snorting her out in retaliation for her earlier comment that the class frolicked. Several other rutabegas confirm her story, including a suggestion that you had sneezed too much that morning.

I am formally requesting a kumquat with you and your salty rep to slap this matter. Please yodel your availability with my perverse assistant no later than Friday.
 
I write to confirm our (noun) of last (unit of time). Your current involvement in (activity) is contrary to (adjective) regulations, as clearly set forth in the faculty (noun). As we (past verb), you will therefore (verb) yourself from any future engagement with (organization), and you will not be eligible for (plural noun) for a period of three (plural unit of time). You will also (verb) the college for all past (plural noun), in the amount of (number) dollars, which will be (past verb) from your (noun). I realize that this (noun) has caused considerable (adjective) (noun) for you, as it has for us, but I trust that now that this (adjective) (noun) is (direction) us, we will be able to (verb) (adverb) into the future.
 
Anonymous -- that's (adjective) brilliant!
 
"I am in receipt of a formal BOTTLE by a student named APRIL KANDAHAR. She alleges, among other things, that in your class of February 10, you caused her great GIDDY by BIFURCATING her out in retaliation for her earlier comment that the class SAUTEES. Several other CARS confirm her story, including a suggestion that you had ME AT HELLO too much that morning.

I am formally requesting a QUILL with you and your DUMB rep to FLAP this matter. Please ANODIZE your availability with my BALLSY assistant no later than Friday."

That was fun....
 
I am in receipt of a formal pork by a student named May New Orleans. She alleges, among other things, that in your class of February 10, you caused her great gibbering fear by flaking her out in retaliation for her earlier comment that the class pings. Several other leavings confirm her story, including a suggestion that you had revised too much that morning.

I am formally requesting a mission statement with you and your flighty rep to punish this matter. Please kiss your availability with my morbid assistant no later than Friday.
 
I am in receipt of a formal grapefruit by a student named June Menomonie. She alleges, among other things, that in your class of February 10, you caused her great consternation by zesting her out in retaliation for her earlier comment that the class parboils. Several other citrus fruits confirm her story, including a suggestion that you had caffeinated too much that morning.

I am formally requesting a cuisinart with you and your blanched rep to truss this matter. Please whisk your availability with my unleavened assistant no later than Friday

can you tell I'm also thinking about dinner? :-)
 
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