Wednesday, June 21, 2006

 

He's Ready for Kindergarten

The family is seated at the dining room table, having dinner.

The Boy: Let’s see who can be quiet the longest!

Dean Dad & The Wife, silently: Yessss!

TB: Ready? Go!

(pause)

DD makes googly eyes at The Boy.

TB: Ha! Daddy!

DD: You lose!

TB: Again! Ready? Go!

(pause)

DD pantomimes impassioned nose-picking.

TB: Ha! Daddy!

DD: I win again!

TB: Ready? Go!

(pause)

TB pulls his ears forward and opens his eyes wide, looking like Bat-Boy from the Weekly World News

DD: (snarf)

TB: I win!

DD: Good one.

TB: Ready? Go!

(pause)

TB makes the exact same Bat-Boy face again.

DD: Ha!

TB: I win!

DD: I’ve got a good one.

TB: Ready? Go!

(pause)

DD stands up and scratches one buttcheek.

TB: Gross! Daddy!

DD: Heh, heh, heh.

TB: Ready? Go!

(pause)

TB stands up, turns around, and scratches both cheeks with brio, smiling broadly.

DD: TB!

TB: I win!

DD: One more.

TB: Okay. Ready? Go!

The Girl burps.

Hilarity ensues.

The Wife reflects on some of her life choices.

I don’t even want to tell you how many years of formal education were represented at the table.

Comments:
Love it, love it, love it!

Formal education shouldn't preclude family hilarity! (I'm sure The Wife was laughing with you on the inside.)
 
The Wife reflects on some of her life choices.

Great line...well placed with excellent pacing.
 
relief to know that ours is not the only over-educated family who distintegrates over references to boogers, farts, and "bootie butts"
 
That sounds like my house.

I also remember posting something like that on my blog and getting flamed for being obviously a terrible parent who encourages my child to have appalling table manners. :P
 
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