It's class observation season again. I have 25 (so far) in the next six weeks, and each one requires a writeup.
Having done this for several years now, I've developed a number of lines I've dreamed of using to prank some of the faculty. (Obviously, none of these is even the slightest bit true at my college, where everybody is practically perfect in every way. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.) Since that would likely be a Career-Limiting Move, I'll post them as hypotheticals instead. You know the class observation went horribly wrong when...
“The good news is, Prof. X is a charming drunk.”
“The popular perception of Prof. X's body odor is slightly exaggerated, at least to this back-row observer.”
“To be fair, some of the alleged facts were actually true. For example, it was Wednesday.”
“Happily for all concerned, Prof. X eventually zipped his fly.”
“Prof. X opened with a darkly-amusing anecdote that, if true, probably should have led to criminal charges.”
“While Prof. X's attempts to appropriate the argot of youth culture are well-intended, I would strongly recommend reducing the repetitions of the word 'fuck' to the single digits in any given class meeting.”
“Although some of Prof. X's observations about Brett Favre had merit, their relation to differential equations was, at best, obscure.”
“To our mutual relief, several students eventually showed up.”
“I was impressed by the scope of the technology at hand, and the fluency with which it was used. Students can do amazing things with cell phones these days.”
