Friday, April 21, 2006

 

Administration Haiku

Dying grandmothers
Transportation, job, bad grades
The ‘withdraw’ deadline

I need it all, now!
Budget lines are for sissies
Close of fiscal year

Tuesday, Wednesday night
Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Rubber chicken week

Have a nice summer
Professors say, packing their stuff
The lucky bastards

State aid flat again
Tuition already up
Time to make donuts?

Miniskirt and scarf
Ugg boots, sweater, baseball cap
What season is it?

Perkins funding gone
Always more for Iraq war
Be all you can be

Why cut higher ed?
Prisons don’t charge tuition
Something is wrong here

Comments:
Enrollment rising,
Operating costs soaring,
As the budget shrinks
 
Cut funding to schools?
Of course! We ain't much fer that
Book learnin' and such.

...

Perhaps Krispy Kreme would be willing to cough up the shorted cash if you changed the name of the school to "Kommunity Kollege?" You could put a neon sign in the window. "Fresh new graduates!" that lights up when students leave to get jobs.

To quote your spiritual guru and mine, one Homer Jay Simpson, "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

It'd never happen, I know. I was just looking for an excuse to think about donuts.

Mmmm, donuts.
 
if that is your poem, then indeed your writing skills is on par with some of the old great poets....

Reveal your innermost thoughts and secrets....
____________________
SecretConfessionZ.com
 
I love your blog! Thanks for cheering me up; I thought we were the only poor ones :-)
 
I apologize for my rant regarding colleges on my page, but if you want to see the other end of the spectrum, you may want to take a gander. We are "lucky" enough to live in a state that lists football as a religion. While I will now have 30+ students per class, and had my budget cut, we do, on the other hand, have a very nice $70K booth for the stadium. Talk about priorities...ergh.

I almost got tarred and feathered last year when a letter to the editor that I had written suggested that in order to get the attention of the State of Texas legislature, that all the districts simply had to cancel the fall football season. You would have thought I was demanding ritual sacrifices from the email that I got from the twenty or so assistant coaches on campus....I still say that the ensuing chaos and calls for lynchings would make the Lege move oh so much faster towards adequate funding. Oh well....
 
My favorite poems
haiku written by Dean Dad--
One, Six and Seven.
 
The more money lost,
Snowballs to more future cuts
by "educated".
 
Hilarious! Priceless! Thank you for making me laugh, Dean--I needed that. That is SO what is going on at my college. And I especially love the first one.

One of my students showed up the other night without his presentation ready (15% of his grade) or his research paper (30% of his grade). When I informed him he was going to fail, he asked, "Well, is there any way I can withdraw?" No, sugar...the deadline was April 10.

That's one F that I look forward to marking on the Final Grades sheet next week. Heh.
 
and a balance for research, teaching, and service:

Tuition rising,
was told, "plan on five percent."
Ten's not in the grant.

What's on the final?
You can read the syllabus,
all topics are there.

Faculty senate,
can you represent us please.
I'm too productive?
 
Thursday: The new Saturday
Beer and dominoes
When, oh when, can I study?
 
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